Abuse of Older Men

One in three senior abuse or neglect cases coming to the attention of Canadian community agencies and organizations involves an abused or neglected older men.⁽¹⁾

Abuse of older men is under-recognized and there are strong social norms against men acknowledging being abused. ⁽²⁾ It has been suggested that aging and ageism can leave people of either sex open to abuse or neglect in later life, especially when the person has disabling conditions and must rely on others.⁽³⁾ It is clear that abuse and neglect in later life significantly affect the lives of anyone who experiences it, man or woman.

In general, older men tend to have more financial resources than older women, which may leave the men more vulnerable to financial exploitation by family members or others. Some older men have been battered husbands throughout their married lives. ⁽⁴⁾ Abuse for older men often occurs in the context of personal and sexual relationships. Older men in same sex relationships or opposite sex relationships can experience abuse. Gay or bisexual men are at greater risk of victimization at some point in their lives than heterosexual men. ⁽⁵⁾

Older men may have different expectations and experience qualitatively different issues in their relationships than older women do. For example, for many older men, their spouse has been their major (and often only) confidant. Most older men are married, even into their late senior years. Only 12.7% of all older men experience widowhood (compared to one in three of all older women). When a man becomes widowed, he often loses his only deep and intense relationship, whereas older women may have other close relationships with family and others.⁽⁶⁾

Older men are more likely than older women to actively seek out new relationships sometimes with younger women after becoming widowed, out of loneliness. Most men and women continue to have strong emotional and sexual feelings well into later life. It is important not to stereotype May-December relationships between women and men as exploitive.⁽⁶⁾

In neglect situations, the man may be relying on his wife, girlfriend, friend or a paid caregiver for care, assistance and support. In situations where the older man has an alcohol use problem, service providers may view the older man as "having brought the problem on himself" (victim blaming). It has also been suggested that when older men live in decrepit situations, people tend to assume it is their choice to live this way, as no one bothers to ask them how they feel. It is easy to stereotype men as not caring about how they live. ⁽⁴⁾

Older men often feel sadness and resignation with the abuse or neglect they are experiencing. ⁽⁴⁾

Like many older women experiencing abuse, older men may act in ways which protect the abuser. Also like any abused or neglected person, older men want someone there to listen to them and their concerns and not take sides with the abuser.

They may need help with housing, finances, and legal matters. Older men who have been financially abused may have little knowledge about the steps they need to take to safeguard their assets. They typically have little knowledge about how to freeze an account or change a joint account.⁽⁴⁾

(1) Pittaway, E. & Gallagher, E. (1995). A Guide to Enhancing Services for Abused Older Canadians. Victoria, BC: British Columbia Office for Seniors.

(2) Mouton, C. P., Talamantes, M., Parker, R.W., Espino, D.V., Miles, T.P. (2001). Abuse and neglect in older men. Clinical Gerontologist. 24 (3-4), 15-26. See also, Kosberg, J.I. (1998). Abuse of elderly men. Journal of Elder Abuse and Neglect. 9 (3), 69-88; and Kosberg J. I. & Mangum, W. P. (2002). Invisibility of older men in gerontology. Gerontology and Geriatrics Education, 22 (4), 27-42.

(3) B.C. Coalition to Eliminate Abuse of Seniors (May, 2003). Profile of Later Life Abuse in British Columbia. Prepared for and the Ministry of Children, Aboriginal and Women's Affairs, Victoria: B.C.

(4) See book review of "Male Victims of Elder Abuse: Their Experiences and Needs", by British researcher Jacki Pritchard. www.wordbridges.net/elderabuse/culture/

(5) D'Augelli, A.R & Grossman, A. H. (October, 2001). Disclosure of sexual orientation, victimization, and mental health among lesbian, gay, and bisexual older adults. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. 16 (10),1008-1027.

(6) Beaulieu, M. & Spencer. C. Older Adults’ Personal Relationships and the Law in Canada: Legal, psycho-social and ethical aspects (Ottawa: Law Commission of Canada, 1999) See: www.lcc.gc.ca/en/themes/pr/oa/spencer/spencer.asp